Depression: I feel like I am broken

I feel like I am broken. Your words and actions have made me feel like I’m broken. Like I’m a failed product that couldn’t be repaired. Like I’m weird and mad and nothing will ever change that. You have shown me that it’s not okay when I’m not okay. It’s not okay when I’m depressed and feeling suicidal and need There’s more for you to read!

Coming Out Struggle: Can I hold a girl’s hand in public?

Can I hold a girl’s hand in public? Shortly after coming out, one of the main things I worried about was whether or not I could have a girlfriend, and whether or not people could know if we were a couple, and whether or not I could show that kind of affection in public. It seems like such a small thing but I wasn’t sure if I could hold another girl’s hand in public. Would people look? Would people comment on it or call us names? Would I draw attention to myself? Would people start looking at me differently? There’s more for you to read!

What NOT to pack for University

Three years ago, I was about to set off to University with a tiny car that had been packed to the brim (literally). I really wanted to be prepared and bring absolutely everything that I thought was necessary and so I did (see my 3-year-old blog post Packing for University). Little did I know I didn’t need to bring everything, haha, and There’s more for you to read!

Expectations are resentments in the making

Expectations are resentments in the making. In other words, expectations have the chance to turn into resentment when they aren’t met. Every relationship comes with expectations. Parents might expect their children to clean up after themselves. Someone might expect to see his/her friend every Friday for the film night. Couples may expect to share all personal details with one another. It There’s more for you to read!

Coming out struggle: Can I still shower with my football team?

After I realised and accepted that I am gay, back in 2013, I suddenly felt a bit awkward when showering with my football team after matches. I don’t know why, because nothing had actually changed. I suppose I was worried that if they knew, they would be worried that I would look differently at them… while… showering? It doesn’t make There’s more for you to read!

Why Sport is Good for My and Your (Mental) Health

From the age of three, until I became an adult, my parents insisted that I participate in at least one sport (of my own choice). This meant that I had at least one training session each week next to the two weekly PE sessions in school. When I was three this was dance aerobics as my mum took that class There’s more for you to read!

The benefits of attending Graduation

If any of you have been following my twitter, it must have been clear that graduation has been stressing me out to the point where I wondered if I even want to attend. Graduation is stressful for a few reasons, like… what do I wear? and, will my divorced parents end up fighting or causing a scene? as well as… There’s more for you to read!

Returning to the Netherlands

I’ve been back in this flat country for almost two weeks now and will stay, for the first time since moving away three years ago, for almost two months (discounting graduation week in Wales and a short trip to Germany). While my stay will only be temporary (as I’ll be starting a master in Scotland), it kind of feels like There’s more for you to read!

Suicide

It feels as if a shadow falls on me when I hear that someone has committed suicide. It reminds me that depression does take lives. A few suicides in previous years have particularly stuck with me. As a child, I was a fan of this character in a soap that was portrayed by a Dutch actor, Antonie Kamerling. In 2010, There’s more for you to read!

Chasing Perfection

On New Year’s Eve In 2010, I finished a manuscript for a novel that had taken me over two years to write. Before I finished stories much quicker and for a long time, it felt like I had been standing still until I reached this new accomplishment. It felt incredible at the moment but I came down quite quickly afterwards. It had There’s more for you to read!

Why I would choose Aberystwyth again

I only have seven days left in Aberystwyth before I move away. Reflecting back on my three years in this beautiful town, I am really quite sad to go. I chose this place based on my university course and I haven’t always been entirely satisfied with the course. But overall, if I could go back in time and change my There’s more for you to read!

Sleepless Nights

I complained about the mark I received for my writing project. I wondered about what I’d done wrong. Was this piece of work, really only worth the grade it was given? Was all my work and effort for nothing and is it unfair, or am I simply claiming I’m a better writer than I actually am? I suppose all of There’s more for you to read!