Are paedophiles bad people? They are pure evil, some people will say. But are they?
The topic came up in a class called ‘learn career and citizenship’, 3 years ago. Our teacher said, “I don’t really think these people can help themselves. What if you are born that way? That must be really awful. I would feel really awful.”
I never gave a thought to the topic before she said that. Not everyone in our class agreed with her, but I found that I kind of did
Let’s take BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadomasochism and masochism.) Chances are you’ve heard of its bad representation in 50 shades of Grey. Anyhow, BDSM was considered as a taboo but has grown to be generally more accepted in recent years. The idea now is that we need to accept our own desires; it’s okay to have them. These desires are not a curse and you aren’t the only one who has them. These desires can be the best thing in the world if you can accept this side of you.
But what if you are not allowed to accept a side of you? We can’t tell people that it’s okay to have sexual encounters with children because it’s obviously not okay. But isn’t the general belief that we need to face our demons if we want to fix them? But how do we face our demons if we don’t acknowledge they exist at all? Because, can we acknowledge our demons in this society?
It’s not just paedophilia that people have to hide. There is also a stigma on mental health. People are afraid to come out and tell others that they need help because they are afraid to be cast away by society. People feel like they have to hide their problems. Paedophiles can’t talk to anyone about theirs because people will immediately think that they are a bad person. And since everyone will think that they are a bad person, there must be something wrong with them, right? Does that mean they are monsters?
We all know how frustrating it can be to be craving for love when you’re single. Craving is something different from wanting. It can be so strong that it almost becomes a need- but, only almost. We can choose how to act on our feelings and paedophiles can choose to not act on theirs. Chances are they never even touched a child in their lives and even if they have, do we solve anything if we exclude them from society? Excluding people from society isn’t the answer. Offering help is.
Paedophilia is a psychiatric disorder. This word is often confused with the act of abuse, which is called child molestation. Not all paedophiles molest children. I think it is very important for us to know. We need to be less quick to judge, if only for ourselves too.
Related news articles:
This 19-year-old paedophile has never gone near a child.
Do paedophiles deserve sympathy?
When society mistakes paedophiles for molesters.
We need to make it easier for paedophiles to seek help.
I do not claim to be an expert on the topic. I have (obviously) written this from my perspective and ultimately I think it’s about not judging. For example, someone pointed out that it’s important to distinguish paedophilia and pedosexuality as the latter implies active sexual encounters with children.
“But what if you are not allowed to accept a side of you? We can’t tell people that it’s okay to have sexual encounters with children because it’s obviously not okay. But isn’t the general belief that we need to face our demons if we want to fix them? But how do we face our demons if we don’t acknowledge they exist at all? Because, can we acknowledge our demons in this society?
It’s not just pedophilia that people have to hide. There is also a stigma on mental health. People are afraid to come out and tell others that they need help because they are afraid to be cast away by society. People feel like they have to hide their problems. Pedophiles can’t talk to anyone about theirs because people will immediately think that they are a bad person. And since everyone will think that they are a bad person, there must be something wrong with them, right? Does that mean they are monsters?”
What you said is very important. We are given two messages. One is to be aware of our problems so we can fix them. The other message is to not ask for help.
As soon as someone admits to other people that they have a problem, them they are judged by a bunch of people who blame them for having the problem.
Obviously pedophilia is a problem since nothing good can come from having sexual desires related to children. That being said, I understand that it’s not different from any mental illness and as such we should not treat people as evil monsters for having desires they did not choose.
Yes Chandler, I’m tired of arguing with internet thugs over issues like this. Life is too short and I may end up closing my foggymountains Youtube profile. Because I got better things to do than to waste my only life arguing with the unreasonable, like certain individuals who have threatened, slandered and accused me of various things for disagreeing with me.
You might be called a pedophile or some sympathizer of molesters for what you just wrote but What good is it doing for the world to falsely accuse people anyway? the logic doesn’t add up here. Those people aught to be directing their anger towards people who are actually trying to cover up abuse of little children or any child that is below the age of consent i.e 16. Such as politicians, church leaders and celebrities or their worshipers.
But no, instead some idiots decide to hate on us with childish name calling and create unnecessary stress for us all, because we unlike the ignorant masses, understand that not everyone who has a mental disorder will commit a crime. Just as not all schizophrenics or autistics have a predisposition to murder someone, not all pedophiles have a predisposition to illegally have sex with a child who is under the age of consent or otherwise perpetuate child abuse.
We have laws in place that protect children already.
Stop comparing SEXUALITY to the ACT of rape as if they are the same thing people. It’s not difficult to understand this, really it isn’t. My friend wsdtime got fed up of people not understanding the difference as well and he is American like you. Good thing we’re not immortal hey? we’ll be free from suffering eventually in our graves.
The best thing we can do to prevent CSA besides keeping proven rapists imprisoned. Is better education in schools. Also parents and teachers should not be stigmatized for creating awareness and to educate minors of the consequences of STD’s, porn, the problems of incest and birth defects. You can educate or discuss porn to minors and not show them inappropriate content.
Thank you for your response, I appreciate it very much!
Cheers, also note that my comments about parents and teachers is a good one, educating teens about the consequences of such and such will prevent future rapes and exploitation. As well as being open minded about the issue of mental illness and getting these people some help.
Parents and teachers shouldn’t be letting the underaged view adult rated material. They should raise the issue of porn as a topic of discussion for educative purposes (or joke I suppose), but not showing them the material or making them produce it, which is illegal and wrong. This is half of the problem and could be one of the causes of pedophilia in the first place.
Sex is a part of nature, but unfortunately there are consequences. Chandler Klebs agrees the causes of all mental illness whatever the case may be, need to be addressed, cured or treated. It’s not just rape we have to worry about, murder and physical abuse are bad as well.