Excerpt of a novel
Emma, a 26-year-old junior doctor in Cardiff has been suppressing her submissive identity out of shame. She’s been keeping people at arm’s length until she meets Inge on a night out, a 29-year-old dominant from The Netherlands, who seems to reveal very little about her past.
In this chapter Emma and Inge have finally confessed that they would like to explore a dominant and submissive relationship with each other. Emma expresses that she’s interested in breath play and after agreeing on a safe word, they are now engaging in a play scene with each other.
Accurately portraying a topic that is not often portrayed truthfully
When I first thought of the story for this novel and began writing it, I wasn’t sure how to portray the BDSM elements that are so important to the narrative and the characters life’s. On the one hand, I felt like I couldn’t be very explicit, thinking the mainstream audience might reject it. On the other hand, I didn’t want to shy away from portraying an accurate representation and felt that if I did, I may subconsciously convey that kink is something to be ashamed of.
In this chapter, I set out to accurately portray a sexual D/s encounter between Inge and Emma, which also heavily focusses on the psychological aspect. In doing so, I aimed to write a story that hasn’t been written in this way before. As part of my research, I read many stories that had even the smallest representation of kink. But to touch upon the most well known ones: The novel 50 Shades of Grey is known to feature BDSM in an inaccurate way. The Story of O has a slightly more accurate portrayal but fails to touch upon the realistic human elements of real people.
Chapter 15: Sexual awakening
Inge grabbed and roughly pushed Emma against the wall, pinning Emma’s arms high next to her head. There was something in her eyes Emma hadn’t seen before. She felt a sliver of fear. Or was it nervous anticipation? Words fell apart in her mind and her feet tried to hold onto the steady ground. Inge kept looking at her. Emma felt a sensation she couldn’t place; an invisible caress between her legs. A blush spread on her face. She was waiting, searching the calm brown eyes. Wondering if she should feel this way. ‘Don’t forget to breathe,’ Inge said. Emma’s eyes widened. She winced underneath the bold glare. That glimmer. The amused lips that had spoken so surely. She had to look away, her thoughts racing. They tumbled and tripped, wrestled with each other unwilling to submit to Inge’s suggestion. But Emma had no choice. She breathed out, conscious of the observing eyes and willed herself to meet that gaze once more. Inge’s lips curled into a smile. ‘Why are you hiding?’ Emma felt she was trying to scramble her way up a hill of soft sand. She managed nothing more than a low guttural sound. It was met by a raised eyebrow, an entertained expression. ‘I know why,’ Inge said. Her eyes narrowed a little. Their gazes locked and it was as if the world momentarily paused like the rest of the room had dimmed and they alone remained. Caught in the hazel glow of Inge’s eyes Emma’s heart skipped a beat. There was recognition. She felt safe. Inge had uncovered a truth that Emma had scarcely admitted to herself. The grip tightened around her wrists. Inge kissed her before any more thoughts could enter her mind, enclosed her lips and pushed her tongue inside. Their mouths became slick with kisses and Emma felt herself eagerly push back. Inge pulled away, kept her lips teasingly out of reach, then restarted with gentle ones. She bit Emma’s lower lip, gave it a slight pull before letting go. Emma felt drawn to the luminous eyes. Inge pushed Emma’s legs apart with her knee; nudged her to spread them wider. Conscious of what Inge might find, Emma slowly complied, her movement drawing a thin thread of the wet patch between her inner thigh and the middle thigh. Inge dug her nails into her leg. She muffled Emma’s gasp with a kiss and teasingly licked Emma’s lips before pulling away again. Her nails traced upwards. Emma tensed, her face growing hot, pleading inside her mind that Inge wouldn’t find it. The fingers turned inside, dug deeper and then paused: there was a grin on Inge’s face. She looked Emma fixedly in the eye while painstakingly and slowly wiping the transparent trace off her leg. Emma squinted as Inge held the two fingers up before her mouth. She sought out the gaze, which had looked so reassuringly before. ‘Open,’ Inge said but Emma looked at the hand in dismay. Inge raised her eyebrow; her glance telling Emma not to challenge her. Reluctantly, Emma obeyed. The damp finger touched her tongue. She shivered. Shut her eyes. The taste spread in her mouth. ‘I want you to be aware of what I’m doing to you.’ Emma sunk deeper. ‘Your arousal.’ If only she could push her legs together. ‘That need.’ The fingers brushed past her lips on their way out. ‘How eager you are.’ She looked up into the hazel eyes. ‘Your willingness to give me that control.’ Inge’s hand slid around her neck. ‘You’re mine now.’ The base of Emma’s feet fell right out of her, plummeted her mind into free fall until she got caught like a kite on a gentle breeze. Her legs staggered. For a moment her weight depended solely on the arm pressing her up against the wall. A hand slipped into the damp trail and pushed against the ridge. The grip tightened, trapping sound. Emma felt the warm air of her lover’s breath touch the fine hair on her neck. Furiously, the hand worked. Purposeful pooling water. A vigorous kiss stole her last breath of air. The waterfall upon release ending in a primal sound.