Alex Vause told us, alright. Still, how is it that the first rule is the one all lesbians seem to break? Every single lesbian that I’ve met so far has been tricked by one of these attractive creatures. Or rather, it is our mind that tricked us. We know we shouldn’t get too close. We know that potential heartbreak is lying ahead. We know, but we keep on hoping anyway. After all, she might still fall in love with us.
At first you don’t even realise that you’ve fallen for her. Perhaps you weren’t even close but as time passes you start spending most of your time talking to her. All at once, she has become one of your best friends and before you know you are thinking of her when you aren’t talking. You begin to open up more and more. Personal matters are shared and conversations get very intimate. Your mood literally lifts up when you know you’ll be able to see her. All of this is fine. She may know that you’re a lesbian, but it’s very natural for close friends to be this close. Then one day you come over at her house and you’re watching her as she is setting up the movie. Suddenly time seems to be standing still. You are overpowered by the sudden urge to kiss her- then ‘wake’ up and almost take a step back out of shock.
No, no, no. There is no way that you feel anything more than friendship for your best friend. No, there is certainly no way. You simply like spending time with her. You have just reached the first stage denial.
Slowly but surely you start imagining things that you could do together. Just the thought alone opens up a whole new world of possibilities. These are things that you only want to do with her. There’s just one problem… she still has a boyfriend.
He is not a nice person
You start to dislike her boyfriend for no other reason than… yeah, he’s her boyfriend. Do you need any other reason? She often complains about him and you are absolutely sure that you would make her so much happier. Surely she’d be better off without him.
There is just so much chemistry between you two. You have never felt this way before about anyone and you know that she’s feeling it too. It is undeniable; she has even started flirting with you! And let’s not forget, after a bit of alcohol she clings to you like her life depends on it.
A slight setback
Okay no, you have been acting insane; your other friend just told you so. She is straight, she has a boyfriend and you are most certainly not in love with her! But then she tells you that the two of you have a special spiritual connection and she would definitely marry you…
You are no longer sure whether the things she’s saying are flirtatious hints, silly jokes or genuine friendly compliments. What she could be saying is: you are very special to me, but I am not in love with you. Yet you can’t deny that she could have feelings for you. Hope is slowly getting the better of you. “If a straight girl isn’t literally telling you that she is in love with you, you can’t really know,” your other friend insists. You can’t hear him anymore. It is already too late… she could really have feelings for you.
All of your feelings are now fueled by hope. The rational function in your brain is no longer effective and all warnings are ignored. You are lost until she either declares her love for- or rejects you. You are in for a wild ride.
Four possible outcomes
– She does love, love you. In this case, I congratulate you, my friend.
– She finds out, either through you or by herself. She tells you that she doesn’t return your feelings.
– She finds out but keeps it to herself.
– She returns the interest but cannot decide whether she actually wants to be with you, a woman.
If the third outcome is applicable, she could stop telling you ‘special’ things. She might not know how to handle this and doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. She could be hoping that you manage to get over it and if you do, the friendship will remain the same. On the other hand, if she is more or less bi-curious you will be ‘hold on the line’ even longer.
Either way, you will do best by being honest with her. Just tell her. If you are truly close friends it won’t ruin your friendship.
Please be aware that you should not use this as personal advice. Every situation is different. I’ve written this based on my own experiences and just for fun ;)