Wide open eyes look up, around, anywhere. At him and at her. They’re wondering. I am wondering, have been and always will except.. It’s not big eyes that you will see. In fact, it is not me at all who you will see. Not ever; for this society has forced her to hide and left to wonder on her own.
Are we wrong for following our desires? Is there harm, when no harm is caused? Is there fault, in not knowing? Am I dysfunctional for being who I am?
No. Of course not, but it is still not me who you see. It Is not I who I see, but who am I anyway? There’s an endless cycle going on in my head. Every minute of every hour of every day and it will never stop. It is searching for like no one else will because no one else knows. They can only see what they see and know who they are themselves.
There is nothing wrong with this particular desire. I am not weak, neither do I seek getting harmed. I feel more like myself than ever- yet I can feel society watching me from behind. I pull away. Come back. Pull away. Come back. Pull away again and again and again.
She stepped into the frame.
Or, I returned. But it was she who made me stay.
It is a black hole; the colour has been made black, to scare me, I suppose. and maybe I am scared; wide-eyed and trembling but society cannot see. It is dark where only I can find her. I can feel her and I am not alone. I am reaching- running, almost; despite the pull that is trying to hold me back. It is a choice. She can only see what she knows, but she knows me.
I want it so badly. The darkness and the light. The scars. Her.
There’s only me.
Is purpose really purpose if it’s for someone else?
I know the cycle will never stop.
Maybe though, if it’s with her.. then maybe I can live with it. Maybe so will she.