We get no vacation

I was walking home, a 6 minute walk from the bus stop, past the big pond in a neatly kept neighbourhood. My glance trailed down as I turned and the sun shone on my back. All around you could hear the quiet of nature; birds somewhere hidden in trees, water gushing ceaseless, a little breeze; and, of course, the children… laughing, playing; without a care in the world. In front of me my shadow moved but I wasn’t sure if I was moving at all.

Smile, just smile… A neighbour approached.
“Don’t worry,” she said, no doubt having seen my vampire ashen face…
Her smile genuine… “Just a little bit longer till summer vacation.”

We passed each other. The body that is mine started fighting back the tears.
My shadow kept on moving forward.

Don’t you know?
Don’t you know?

We get no vacation. There is no way to book a plane ticket and to just, fly away.

I want to.

The universe knows about the many hours I’ve stared out of a window, pretending I could fly.
Has in fact registered, the hours I’ve spent in my dreams, in my head, in a book, in a series, in a film, in my editing, in my writing, out on the football field, somewhere with loved ones…

But don’t you know? We get no vacation.
You can’t leave yourself.


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