Are paedophiles bad people? They are pure evil, some people will say. But are they?
The topic came up in a class called ‘learn career and citizenship’, 3 years ago. Our teacher said, “I don’t really think these people can help themselves. What if you are born that way? That must be really awful. I would feel really awful.”
I never gave a thought to the topic before she said that. Not everyone in our class agreed with her, but I found that I kind of did
Let’s take BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadomasochism and masochism.) Chances are you’ve heard of its bad representation in 50 shades of Grey. Anyhow, BDSM was considered as a taboo but has grown to be generally more accepted in recent years. The idea now is that we need to accept our own desires; it’s okay to have them. These desires are not a curse and you aren’t the only one who has them. These desires can be the best thing in the world if you can accept this side of you.
But what if you are not allowed to accept a side of you? We can’t tell people that it’s okay to have sexual encounters with children because it’s obviously not okay. But isn’t the general belief that we need to face our demons if we want to fix them? But how do we face our demons if we don’t acknowledge they exist at all? Because, can we acknowledge our demons in this society?
It’s not just paedophilia that people have to hide. There is also a stigma on mental health. People are afraid to come out and tell others that they need help because they are afraid to be cast away by society. People feel like they have to hide their problems. Paedophiles can’t talk to anyone about theirs because people will immediately think that they are a bad person. And since everyone will think that they are a bad person, there must be something wrong with them, right? Does that mean they are monsters?
We all know how frustrating it can be to be craving for love when you’re single. Craving is something different from wanting. It can be so strong that it almost becomes a need- but, only almost. We can choose how to act on our feelings and paedophiles can choose to not act on theirs. Chances are they never even touched a child in their lives and even if they have, do we solve anything if we exclude them from society? Excluding people from society isn’t the answer. Offering help is.
Paedophilia is a psychiatric disorder. This word is often confused with the act of abuse, which is called child molestation. Not all paedophiles molest children. I think it is very important for us to know. We need to be less quick to judge, if only for ourselves too.
Related news articles:
This 19-year-old paedophile has never gone near a child.
Do paedophiles deserve sympathy?
When society mistakes paedophiles for molesters.
We need to make it easier for paedophiles to seek help.
I do not claim to be an expert on the topic. I have (obviously) written this from my perspective and ultimately I think it’s about not judging. For example, someone pointed out that it’s important to distinguish paedophilia and pedosexuality as the latter implies active sexual encounters with children.