The shame of depression
Today is Saturday, the day on which I was supposed to play Varsity. I am not playing because I cancelled, and I cancelled because my mental health got the better of me. I had fully intended to play Varsity… 1,5 month ago I decided I wanted to play Varsity with the university football team. 1 month ago I played my last There’s more for you to read!
Like Volcanic Ash
It feels like I will never be an adult because my emotions are like the mood of a teenager. I can’t function like everyone else because I never know if I’m going to be ok that day. I can’t ensure that I’ll perform well because I never know if I’ll actually care that day. Who cares about the future? There’s no There’s more for you to read!
Fear of the unknown
I was never one to be scared of my next destination. Many people asked me if I was scared to go to Aberystwyth, and when I answered no, it was met with admiration and surprise. Apparently, it is scary to move from a place that you know to a place that you have never been before. I didn’t feel that way There’s more for you to read!
Another chance to be happy
Can you imagine that I feel so much pain that if I had a gun right now I would hold it against my head and shoot? Can you imagine that it hurts me even more knowing that I can’t do this? Because I know that pulling the trigger wouldn’t make anything better. Pulling the trigger wouldn’t get me what I There’s more for you to read!
Poorly designed containers
Recently, I did research on representing ‘the unspeakable,’ something that is so terrible (such as the holocaust) that it cannot be represented in literature. Different traumatic experiences can be seen as something ‘ unspeakable’ and the debate as to whether or not it is ethical to represent such an experience is complicated. This is because language often does not do There’s more for you to read!
It will also be okay
There are so many thoughts going through my head that I can’t write them down. It’s like when you are trying to speak but have somehow lost your voice. What if nothing can ever make it stop? And it’s all just covering it up. Just a temporary release? I don’t understand how I can feel so confident and content with There’s more for you to read!
My favourite yellow friend
My favourite yellow friend He had a square shaped head The toy with mini canons on its end My yellow favourite now beheaded Next to his silver swordsman friend Between swaying towers Their skin steadily turned green On their stomach they crawled To be for the enemy unseen Far, far away from the arena Where the referee was left behind There’s more for you to read!
2017: The Year of Confidence
At the start of 2017, I was caught up in life. I wrote some blog posts but didn’t publish any of them. I didn’t feel the worst I ever felt, but I wasn’t entirely happy either. It felt like several pieces of a puzzle had been misplaced and thus the year became one of the difficult decisions to try and There’s more for you to read!
In between places
During one of my writing modules this semester, we discussed liminal spaces; places that are in-between, border places or places in transition like an airport, travelling on a bus or train and places like universities. For a lot of students, university is a place of transition. Students move to a place away from home where they can start building their new lives and There’s more for you to read!
A Black Hole of Worries
Am I doing the right thing? Is it right or wrong? Will they think I’m a bad person based on the decision I make? We all have to choose sometimes. At times it can be fairly easy, and it can be overly complicated for others. Most of the decisions I have to make become the latter. I’m fairly confident I There’s more for you to read!
Late night affair
5:13 PM: A couple enters the Libertine. I greet them and bring over a menu. The man gives me a polite nod. The woman, Janet, tries to look the other way. Did you forget I work here on Thursdays. 5:23 PM: I let them chitchat for a bit before going over and taking their order. He’s the one that There’s more for you to read!
DOWN IT!
‘We’re doing it together; we’re doing it for each other,’ is typically what a team would in the changing rooms before a match. I started off as a tennis player but fell in love with football. Playing football isn’t as lonely as playing tennis since knowing that there are 10 other people on the pitch to support you is reassuring. There’s more for you to read!
Somehow We’re Still Allowed to Smoke
Sometimes the human race is pretty stupid. I’m sure we can all agree with that statement even if you may not agree with what I’m about to write. I’m not referring to smokers with that statement. Instead, I’m referring to the fact that smoking in public places, such as on the street, is still allowed. Smoking has been around for There’s more for you to read!
A Surge of Panic
I went to a party the other day. It had been a while since I’d gone out and although I felt anxious about going, I’d convinced myself to go no matter what. The first hurdle came with the dress code. The theme was American Frat party, which sounds easy enough, right? Except it wouldn’t have mattered what the dress code There’s more for you to read!