I really have trouble sleeping at the right times over here. Last night, on the first night, I think we went to bed around 1, but I woke up at 5 only to stay awake thereafter. Perhaps it is because it gets light here around 5/6 am, but with the little sleep that I had in the plane, I am in high need of a longer night of sleep right now. But here I am again, awake on the second morning at 6. I will be dead tired again in the evening, but for some reason, I can’t sleep any more now even though I am still tired. It must be the change in time zones because even for me waking up at 6 is too early. Everything will be normal once I start waking up at 8, haha.
Moreover, I don’t feel very aware of being in Korea. Strangely enough, everything feels normal. I’m not living in the moment yet. I’m waiting for myself to come down, but it is not something I can really explain. Meanwhile, vacation itself seems… I don’t know. I bet Marleen will understand it immediately. Maybe you’re reading this too. I just feel like… I have to bring souvenirs back home with me for… this and this and this and this person. And I have to tell this and this and this person. I have to take pictures and capture whatever you can capture on camera here. I have to have some feeling about it all. I should be excited, or impressed or downright disappointed. But I don’t feel anything and I know it has nothing to do with Korea or with being with Ina and Truci and Hang. This is standard. This is my life and if it is anything but this then that is great. I expect it to happen after a few days over here. But right now this is just the way it is. My thoughts and feelings don’t change by a change of scenery. If anything it makes me feel more pressured because it should change my feelings and thoughts for the better. You are supposed to enjoy a vacation the way others do. I’m supposed to want to make all these pictures and jump around and feel something- have some impression about Korea. But I don’t. Everything is normal and it doesn’t matter where I am in the world. Not yet, anyway.
It doesn’t matter. Everything will be fine. Everything is fine. It’s all in your head. You’re doing it yourself. It’s your own fault. It’s not your own fault. Accept the way you are yourself. But who am I? And where am I? Not yet down to earth it seems. Appreciate everything. It’s not as bad as it seems. It is not like this all the time. It’s just there in the background. It’s normal. It’s the way things are.
7:23 AM Korea – 0:23 AM Netherlands
Other posts in my South Korean Travel Series:
Preparing my trip to South Korea
The way things are
Arriving in Korea
Nothing touristic, just Korean food
Gay supporters, OUT
To the summit of the Hallasan mountain!
The pond of God
Monkeys in our backyard
Yakcheonsa Buddhist Temple
Surrounded by mist on Udo Island
Busan day one
Busan day two
Seoul in ‘one week’
A large palace with little doors
Enter the Secret Garden
Love conquers hate
Bukchon Hanok Village
Chicken and beer at the Hangang River
Hello Kitty Cafe and actual cats
No more kamsamnida