Too functional to suffer

As a child, I went to the paediatrician for my lungs. I only have exercised induced asthma so it’s not that serious, but at the time it was bothering me when I cycled to school. They did a few tests and could only provide me with an inhaler. However, the paediatrician also wanted me to do a fitness test. Apparently, she There’s more for you to read!

Writing and Mental Health

On the 16th of March, Gwyneth Lewis (a Welsh poet) gave a talk on Writing on Mental Health at my university. I was interested because I’m a writer and I have struggled with depression myself. I wanted to know more about the relation between writing and mental health and one of the first points that Gwyneth gave immediately spoke to There’s more for you to read!

To belong or not; anxiety

I just finished writing an essay on Harry Potter for my children’s literature module. In my essay, I talk about the quest motif, and in specific about Harry’s quest for identity. When Harry discovers that he is a wizard and belongs in the wizarding world his identity changes. Suddenly he feels like he belongs somewhere as he is amongst ‘his’ There’s more for you to read!

It’s real

 ‘Are you okay?’ I’m not here. I’m not here.             ‘She’s asleep.’ ‘Malou?’ I can’t hear you.        I can’t hear you right now. From the other side of the counter, she gives me a smile. As I stand there in the middle of the room she picks up her cup and walks There’s more for you to read!

A writer committed suicide

Joost Zwagerman, a Dutch Writer committed suicide on the day his new book got published. I didn’t know him, but the news appeared everywhere. Another known person took his own life- a writer took his own life. The news articles told me he had been struggling with manic-depression and had a father and a best friend that tried to take There’s more for you to read!

Depression is a cloud

It sort of paralyses me; it stops me from doing normal daily things, it disables my ability to smile and I feel like I can’t function. Depression does not define me, someone once said. It is a cloud… a layer of smog that settles over your mind- something that clouds the view of what the world is. Depression does not change There’s more for you to read!

I wish you could be honest with me

“I hope you find a way to be yourself someday, in weakness or in strength, change can be amazing.” February 2008 – I fled upstairs as she received the call. She would know what I had done. I hurt her and had broken her trust. As I was trying to find the courage to face her, I started to cry. When I There’s more for you to read!

Review: Toen ik je zag

Toen ik je zag van Isa Hoes Genre: Non-Fictie, Biografie Uitgever: Ambo|Anthos Koop op Bol.com Click here to read this post in English Rating:  ‘In je hoofd kijken heb ik nooit gekund, of was dat voor mij dan net zo verschrikkelijk geweest als voor jou?’ Isa Hoes en Antonie Kamerling ontmoeten elkaar voor het eerst tijdens de audities van Goede Tijden, Slechte Tijden. De soap wordt There’s more for you to read!

Neither Yin nor Yang

Sometimes I’m losing, even when someone else is around. Someone or something can cause it, but that does not matter in this case. It starts with a bad feeling. This is a feeling and not a thought, followed by a first thought: I should not be feeling this way. I’m blaming myself for feeling this way, then tell myself I’m stupid There’s more for you to read!

To prevent a cut

“Don’t worry, he or she won’t do it otherwise they wouldn’t tell you,” is the average response I get whenever I bring this issue up. When someone tells you they feel like committing suicide or cutting themselves, your first reaction is most likely to worry. If it is the first time someone tells you this, you are most likely afraid There’s more for you to read!

When fear carries the biggest weight

Sometimes there are moments in which you can’t see straight anymore. As soon as fear weighs the heaviest, realism will be off the scale completely. The positive which usually outweighs the negative does no longer seem to matter. If it’s like this and this, you can either do this and this, but neither works out. No matter what you do, There’s more for you to read!

Still trying

It often happens, that thoughts are creeping in. Sometimes they find their way inside slowly. Sometimes they come all at once. Often no one knows that this is going on. I might just be tired. Or annoyed. You know, something. It’s okay when I can hide it. Sometimes it goes away again because my surrounding helps getting me out of There’s more for you to read!

She suddenly died

She told me her mother unexpectedly died last week. Her mother was old, 82, and as everyone at that age had her old-age-complaints, but… her daughter had taken her to have a manicure, just the other day. She had suddenly died. Her daughter, now at my checkout, still with the bewildered expression on her face. It seems to be so There’s more for you to read!